If You’re a Family In-Home Caregiver, You Probably Need Help With This
For many of us, life is spent trying to juggle a number of balls at one time, and family in-home caregivers often feel like they’ve added knives and flaming swords to the mix! It’s natural to feel overwhelmed and guilty when you’re responsible for caring for a loved one, whether that person is your spouse or your parent.
Guilt comes in a variety of forms. Maybe you feel like you should be spending more time with your loved one. You feel guilty because you’re considering a move to an assisted living facility for your loved one. You might feel guilty when your loved one’s dementia-fueled behaviors cause you to snap. Or you feel guilty because you’re neglecting your own children in order to care for your mother or father.
It’s important to remember that you’re doing the best you can, and it’s perfectly fine to seek help.
Let’s take a closer look at that statement. First: You’re doing the best you can. You may agree, but do you really believe it? When you begin to feel guilty, remind yourself:
- I am doing the best I can.
- My loved one appreciates me, even if he or she can’t or won’t say so.
- Mistakes will happen.
- I can’t control or fix the past, but I can control how I feel about it.
- I am doing enough.
Consider posting these affirmations on notes around the house, perhaps on the refrigerator or inside a cabinet you access often. If there’s an affirmation you really like, use the calendar app on your cell phone to schedule it as a daily pop-up reminder.
Second: It’s fine to seek assistance, whether it’s professional help through an in-home caregiving agency like Home & Hearth Caregivers, or from relatives, friends, or your loved one’s friends.
Let’s start with your loved one’s network of friends. So many people will say, “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” But how often do we follow up and ask? Your mother’s friends probably do want to help, but may be holding back because they don’t want to step on your toes. Contact them and ask for specific assistance. “Would you be able to come over and spend time with Mom every Monday morning for an hour or so?” You’ll probably be pleasantly surprised at how willing people are to give you the help you need — they just need to be given a specific request.
Siblings and other relatives living nearby may also just need to be asked. Remember, if you can receive help for even a few small weekly tasks, you will feel less overwhelmed. Maybe Uncle Bobbie can take Dad out for a cup of coffee one morning each week, or Cousin Sara can take Grandma with her to church.
If siblings and other relatives live far away, ask them to handle tasks that can be done over the phone or online. Have them pull together a list of adult day care facilities. Have them seek out the most affordable pharmacy for your parent’s prescriptions, etc.
Or even better, request the help of a professional in-home caregiving agency such as Home & Hearth Caregivers. We can assist with services such as:
- Meal planning and preparation
- Regular respite care
- Transportation to appointments, shopping and events
- Light housekeeping
- Companionship
- Specialized care for persons with dementia
- Connections to community resources and caregiver support groups
Home & Hearth Caregivers can be a partner with you as you walk this caregiving journey with your loved one. Enlisting the help of a professional in-home caregiver from Home & Hearth Caregivers can provide your loved one with companionship while assisting with daily tasks like hygiene, medication management, and laundry. Our kind, caring professionals will make sure your loved one gets the help he or she needs. Simply give us a call at 800-349-0663 to begin the process of recovering from caregiver guilt, and providing your senior loved one with the very best in-home care in Illinois.